


I Care About You

by Wanderingcourier



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Body Dysphoria, Cunnilingus, Dysfunctional Relationships, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/F, First Time, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Unhealthy Relationships, Vaginal Fingering, lapis needs therapy and a class on consent, peridot needs therapy and maybe a self help book, shits wild in here ok
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 23:04:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15918072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wanderingcourier/pseuds/Wanderingcourier
Summary: Peridot does her best to show Lapis that she cares.





	I Care About You

**Author's Note:**

> Mind the tags.

As per usual, Peridot was uncertain what exactly had inspired Lapis’s change in mood. It could have been the weather (unexpectedly cloudy), the insects currently chirping (A lot of crickets. The cicadas should be out soon), or even the time of day (just before sunset). All that Peridot knew was that Lapis had abruptly shut the TV off and crossed her arms, staring at the dark screen. 

“...That wasn’t the end of the episode.” Peridot observed, turning towards Lapis and frowning. Lapis made a terse “hmmm” noise. 

Peridot crossed her legs and tapped her fingers on her knee in a quick rhythm. Somewhere down below, Pumpkin yipped as she chased grasshoppers. 

“Usually, one waits until the end of the episode to stop watching. We, uhm, we talked about that.” Peridot said, her fingers tapping quicker. “Do you, do you not like the episode? I thought you liked season three.”

Lapis shrugged. 

“I wanted to talk to you.” She said, finally turning her head towards Peridot. 

“Great! Here we are. Talking. To… each other.” Peridot replied, fixing a grin onto her face. Lapis was upset, she could just feel it. 

“Yup. It’s well…” Lapis’s lips quirked downward, just a bit. “You care about me, right Peridot?”

“Of course! Have… have I done something to give the impression I don’t…?” Peridot asked, fidgeting with a loose thread on the couch cushion. 

She’d  _ thought  _ she’d done everything right today. She hadn’t been too loud, she’d dutifully nodded when Lapis had gone off about the Crystal Gems again, she let Lapis check her search and call history on the tablet, she hadn’t let Pumpkin wake Lapis up from her nap… Had she missed something? She’d dropped a hammer when she was working on a morp earlier, maybe that was it. Lapis didn’t like loud, sudden noises. Peridot shouldn’t have been so clumsy. She’d just have to do better next time. 

“It’s more like what you haven’t done.” Lapis said. Peridot frowned, going over the course of her day to figure out what she’d missed. The hammer, that was one… Maybe it was earlier in the week? Sometimes stuff was just too much for Lapis. 

Then Lapis put a hand on Peridot’s thigh, and Peridot’s train of thought screeched to a halt. 

“I want to have sex.” Lapis stated plainly. 

“What?” Peridot blurted, too stunned to even move. “I-- Uhm, I’m,”

Lapis scooted forward, was leaning in a bit now. Peridot’s first instinct was to scoot back, but Lapis would definitely be upset if she did that. 

“I mean, we’re close, aren’t we? And it’s good for stress.” Lapis continued, either oblivious or uncaring of Peridot’s internal panic. 

“Uhm--! We’re close, of course, obviously, but I, uhh--”  _ I’m not sure, I’m not ready, This is too fast, I don’t really want to _ \-- “I, uhm, haven’t done it before?”

Lapis smiled a little bit, and for a second Peridot felt full of joy. Then Lapis’s hand slipped further up her thigh, resting where her thigh joined her crotch, and Peridot’s stomach twisted.

“I’ll teach you. You’ll enjoy it.” Lapis said, Leaning in a little more. Peridot could feel her cool breath ghosting over her lips. 

“Oh. I mean, we, we didn’t finish the episode, though, shouldn’t we finish that?” Peridot asked, leaning back. 

“You already know how it ends,” Lapis scoffed, Moving her hand to Peridot’s chest and pushing until Peridot was flat on her back, sinking into the couch cushions. Lapis settled herself over Peridot’s now straightened legs, one leg on either side of Peridot’s thighs, kindly not putting her full weight on Peridot’s knees. 

“I guess,” Peridot mumbled, and Lapis leaned forward to kiss her. Peridot did her best not to squirm as the kiss grew more insistent, her hands balling and unballing into loose fists. Lapis pulled away, only inches from Peridot’s face.

“Open your mouth,” Lapis mumbled, moving one hand to cup Peridot’s face as she kissed her again. Peridot turned her head away, and Lapis huffed. 

“I should make sure Pumpkin gets to her bed alright!” Peridot exclaimed. “You know how she gets sometimes, that one time--”

Lapis was frowning again. 

“She’ll be fine. She likes sleeping in the field more, anyways. Open your mouth a little, I’m going to show you how to kiss.”

Lapis moved back in again before Peridot could voice another protest, gently pressing her tongue into Peridot’s mouth. Lapis’s motions were strong, deliberate-- Peridot couldn’t really keep up, gasping for breath between hungry kisses. Lapis trailed kisses from the corner of Peridot’s mouth down to her jaw, to her throat. 

“That feels weird,” Peridot mumbled. 

“That feels good,” Lapis corrected, and Peridot supposed it did, if sort of tickly. The hand cupping her face moved down to grope at Peridot’s breast, and Peridot groaned and squirmed away from the unfamiliar sensation. 

“Can we maybe-- maybe do the rest of this later? I mean, we kissed. That’s, that’s good, right?” Peridot asked, pushing herself up on her elbows and dislodging Lapis. 

Lapis’s brows crinkled, and she made another impatient noise. 

“Why do you keep trying to make excuses? You care about me, right?” She asked, holding eye contact with Peridot. 

“Lapis, of course I care about you! I--” Peridot cried. She didn’t want to make Lapis upset! But, her stomach kept twisting, and her throat felt tight. 

“Really? Because you’re acting like you don’t care.” Lapis said, sitting upright and crossing her arms. 

“What?! No, Lapis, I care so much about you, you’re my best friend!” Peridot insisted, sitting up herself. 

“How can I believe you care if you won’t even do this for me? I do so much for you, but the instant I ask you for something you turn around and start making excuses!” Lapis retorted, glaring. 

Well, Peridot  _ was _ making excuses. Maybe she was overreacting? Plenty of gems had sex. Clearly, Lapis had before. And Lapis had been generous in letting her stay, hadn’t she? Even though she was a noble, and by all rights could have forced an Era 2 like Peridot out of the barn. 

“I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m being selfish.” Peridot murmured, her face heating up unpleasantly.

Lapis’s shoulders sagged.  

“I forgive you,” She said, and Peridot smiled weakly, “But it’s really important to me that we have sex. It’ll show that you  _ actually _ care about me. And it’ll make me happy.” 

Peridot swallowed thickly. It felt like her throat was full of rocks. But Lapis was smiling again.

Lapis tugged Peridot into her lap, and Peridot let her. 

“We’ll keep going, then.” Lapis declared. “Phase off your suit.”

Peridot hesitated. She had examined herself without her suit before, but that was on Homeworld, with her limb enhancers. She’d had neither the privacy nor the desire to do so on Earth. It felt suddenly like Lapis was towering over her, and oh no she was frowning again. 

“Peridot, don’t you care about me? Can’t you just  _ listen? _ ” She asked, digging her nails into Peridot’s hips. 

“Sorry, sorry.” Peridot mumbled again as she phased off her suit. Logically, she knew, there was nothing different about her torso. But staring down at her now bared hips and chest, she felt… bad. Small. 

Lapis brushed a cool hand over Peridot’s breasts and stomach. She tilted Peridot’s chin up and kissed her again as she phased off her own clothes. Peridot repressed a shiver as the cold night air brought goosebumps to her skin.

“You’re cute,” Lapis hummed, and Peridot blushed teal. 

“You’re wonderful,” She offered, and Lapis kissed the tip of her nose. 

“Are you wet?” Lapis asked, brushing one hand by Peridot’s crotch to feel for herself. Peridot… wasn’t, not really, and Lapis scoffed. “Seriously?” She asked, “I guess I really do need to teach you.” 

Lapis pulled Peridot close, and kissed her again, openmouthed and damp. Peridot closed her eyes and did her best to keep up, resting her hands on Lapis’s shoulders awkwardly. Lapis nipped her lower lip and Peridot squeaked, drawing a small laugh from Lapis. Lapis kissed her neck again, but now she was biting, and it felt weird but maybe good? It was all happening too fast for Peridot to really process. 

Lapis groped her breast, still kissing and nipping at Peridot’s throat, and Peridot was glad that Lapis couldn’t see the tight frown that Peridot couldn’t keep off of her face. Lapis pinched her nipple hard and Peridot made another high pitched noise. That, that didn’t feel like the sort of nice sensation of Lapis nipping her lip, but Lapis was still smiling so Peridot kept her mouth shut. Lapis was finally happy. It would be awful for Peridot to ruin it over something as small as an unpleasant sensation. Lapis pinched her nipple again, and Peridot bit back a yelp. 

“Can you slow down…?” Peridot asked breathily, but Lapis said nothing in response. She just kissed Peridot again, now prodding between Peridot’s legs with one hand. She lightly pinched Peridot’s clit, and Peridot gasped at the shock of pleasure that darted up her spine. She squeezed her eyes shut again, trying to dispel the sudden, inexplicable wave of nausea she felt. 

“See? You like it,” Lapis said, “you just didn’t know any better. Luckily, you have me.”

Nimble fingers prodded at Peridot’s entrance, and Peridot whimpered. Lapis rolled her eyes. 

“Just relax.” she commanded, but Peridot just  _ couldn’t _ . She was cold and her nipple hurt and she just wanted to finish the episode, but she had to make Lapis happy. She owed it to her. 

Lapis pushed her fingers inside, and Peridot couldn’t hide her cringe and her cry of pain. It was a sharp, pointed pain-- it felt like too much, like she was being stretched beyond her physical limits. She wasn’t bleeding, she didn’t think, so it must have been alright, right? This was probably what it was supposed to feel like.

Lapis huffed and frowned, wriggling her fingers as Peridot squirmed. Peridot’s stomach dropped at Lapis’s expression: she had messed up and disappointed Lapis again. 

“I told you to relax! Don’t you want to enjoy it?!” Lapis snapped. 

“I’m trying,” Peridot gasped, “It just, it feels--” Not painful, Lapis would be so upset if Peridot implied that it was painful-- “weird?”

Lapis crooked her fingers, and Peridot jumped and groaned. When Lapis thrusted her fingers, it felt like she was going to pull Peridot’s insides out with them.

“If you would listen to me, if would feel good. You’re doing this to yourself, Peridot.” She scolded, crooking her fingers.  Peridot choked back a sob. 

Lapis’s face softened. 

“I shouldn’t yell at you. Here, take your hand and touch yourself, like this.” She said, guiding Peridot’s own hand down to rub her clit. 

If Lapis’s hand on her clit made Peridot feel nauseous, seeing her own small hand on her clit made Peridot want to tear her own guts out. But Lapis was watching her intently, obviously pleased, so Peridot repeated the motions that Lapis had demonstrated on her. 

And after a few uncomfortable minutes, Lapis’s fingers did start to feel vaguely pleasant. Peridot was finally getting wet, and the burning, cutting feeling of Lapis’s fingers faded into something reasonably enjoyable. If Peridot leaned her head against Lapis’s chest and kept her eyes shut, she could sort of pretend that Lapis was the one touching her clit, which helped with the awful feeling in her chest that watching herself seemed to bring up. Lapis ran a hand through Peridot’s hair, and Peridot let out a soft little moan. 

This was ok. This was just fine-- Peridot kept her eyes shut tight, trying to will herself to finish. She just had to make it through. She’d be done soon, and she would be successful in making Lapis happy. 

She came suddenly, with a little cry. Lapis drew it out of her until it hurt, smiling widely and cooing at her as she shook and fluttered around Lapis’s fingers. Finally, it was done. It was over. 

Lapis kissed her again, taking hold of her wrist and guiding it to Lapis’s own damp crotch. Lapis, at least, was incredibly wet-- it dripped down Peridot’s wrist as Lapis pushed Peridot’s short fingers inside of herself and rode Peridot’s hand. 

“You’ll give me oral, right?” Lapis asked, and Peridot hesitated. Lapis stopped the movement of her hips. “Peridot, you aren’t seriously going to make me get myself off after I did all that for you, right? Don’t be selfish.” She chided. 

Peridot nodded quickly. 

“No, I mean yes, of course! I, uhm, of course.” She said, ignoring the soreness between her legs. 

“Good. Get on your knees, in front of the couch.” Lapis ordered, and Peridot scrambled to obey. After all, she hadn’t listened to Lapis fast enough last time. She just needed to be better, more consistent.

Lapis scooted forward to the edge of the couch, spreading her legs. 

“Use your lips and tongue, like when we kissed. Don’t use your teeth, ok?” She directed. Peridot listened as best as she could, trying to imitate the admittedly sloppy way Lapis had kissed her earlier. Lapis leaned back and moaned, and Peridot’s heart skipped a beat.  _ She _ was making Lapis feel this was, making her feel good and content and satisfied. 

Lapis laced a hand through Peridot’s hair, sighing. 

“That’s good. That’s really good, Peri.” She said, and Peridot redoubled her efforts. 

The hush of the night air was filled with Lapis’s sighs and moans, broken up occasionally by an order to speed up or slow down. Lapis came just as suddenly and as quietly as Peridot, leaving Peridot’s lips and chin dripping. 

Lapis let her head fall back and her eyes for a moment, smiling slightly and looking perfectly content and at peace. She opened her eyes and gestured for Peridot to come up and sit with her on the (now slightly damp) couch. 

“I told you you’d like it. I don’t know why it’s so hard for you to just do what I tell you sometimes.” Lapis said, petting Peridot’s bare back. Peridot shrugged sheepishly. 

“I mean, you listened anyways though. That’s how I know you care.” Lapis continued, and Peridot beamed. Lapis pulled her into a hug. Peridot nestled her head into Lapis’s shoulder, the skin of her neck pleasant against Peridot’s gem. 

“Do you want to get dressed and sleep in the hammock?” Peridot asked. Getting dressed sounded really nice-- Peridot was sort of chilly, and unfortunately sticky and sore. The hammock was probably nice and warm. Her uniform was definitely nice and warm. Maybe Pumpkin would join them in the hammock, that would be really excellent.

“Nah. We’ll just rest here.” Lapis said.

And she sounded very happy, so Peridot stayed quiet, letting only the crickets and the cicadas break the silence of the chill night air. 

**Author's Note:**

> There are fics with healthy relationships I could be writing, but here we are. Huh. I've been craving some of that Unhealthy Lapidot since raising the barn, but I guess I gotta do everything myself. 
> 
> This is sort of a wild one in that I think it's the first explicit fic I've wrote where titillation is not necessarily the goal I had in mind. That being said, if you're into this sort of thing go nuts man.


End file.
